Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Sweater Dress Disaster

Years ago I loved wearing sweater dresses. My favorite sweater dress had long sleeves. It was a heavier knit with a simple neckline and three brown buttons on the left shoulder. The dress was an oatmeal color. It came above the knee, perfect for my over-the-knee chocolate brown boots that my older brother gave me one year for Christmas.

I can remember the first time I wore my oatmeal sweater dress. It was late August. I'd gone back to college a little early to see a guy I hadn't seen all summer. He had a blue Chevy Impala that he was anxious for me to see. I was anxious for him to see my oatmeal sweater dress
so it didn't take me long to get ready once the day arrived. I couldn't wait to wear the dress. With my long hair up in a ponytail and a fake braid wrapped around it and my over-the-knee boots on, I was ready to go. He was early. I guess he was anxious to show off his Chevy Impala which turned out to be brand new-quite appropriate for my new sweater dress.

It was good seeing him. He surprised me by taking me to a carnival. I'd been so intent on wearing that dress that I never bothered to check the weather. I found myself at a carnival in 90 degree weather in a heavy knit sweater dress with those long sleeves and my hair sporting a fake braid and those over-the-knee boots. I was so hot (not the kind of hot I'd hoped for) that I went on rides just to cool down. But the more rides I went on the more my fake braid slid out of place. The faster the ride, the more the braid slipped until I was on one ride and I had to grab it before it flew away. My most favorite dress ever ended up feeling like a thermal blanket and electric blanket combined. My heavy Cher-like eye make-up was melting down my cheeks. I looked like a raccoon dressed in an oatmeal shade heavy coat.

I could tell my friend was glad to get me back to the dorm. Saying good night was quick. I think I scared him away. Maybe it was the fake braid I was carrying or my face covered in black eye make-up or my sweater dress with long sleeves that looked like a winter coat while he was casually dressed in madras shorts appropriate in the humid weather. Whatever it was, that was the first and last ride I ever took in his new and blue shiny Chevy Impala. I hope I didn't leave behind any streaks of my eye make-up.

But I did get to wear my favorite sweater dress again and again when snow was falling and all the carnivals had packed up and moved on.

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